Small blip in the world of important things

Ian is traveling for work this week. These few occasions when he's gone reminds me how truly helpful he is when he's home. More than an extra hand in the kitchen or around the house, it's the realization of how much Malia needs both of us. He provides a different source of love for her. He functions on a different level of playfulness that I attempt to reenact, but usually fail epically. I try to read in his voice and end up sounding like I doped up Sesame Street character.

While we missed dad, today was a really smooth day. We played hard this morning. She helped me plant my planters and pots in the backyard. We read lots of books in her tent. She napped easily and well. This is a photo I snapped shortly after she woke up. She returned to her tent and stretched and slowly woke up (yes, she's still in her jammies at three p.m. When dad's away!). We went to the park with Auntie Julia. We ate take out for dinner.

Bedtime didn't seem to follow the day's easy manner, and boy did I wish her daddy was home to lend a hand. I'm not sure what went awry. I do know that she was mad and I was frustrated, which usually ends poorly for both of us. Eventually after some yogurt, some tears and then some snuggles, she wound down and fell asleep.

These nights when I find myself biting my lip in frustration I have to remind myself how fleeting these days are that she actually wants me to put her to bed. She still loves to snuggle her downy head into my chest and rock with her blanket wrapped just so around her arms.

A woman I follow on Instagram, a woman whose daughter is just six weeks older than Malia, and a woman who I adore without even knowing dropped a bomb on her feed last week. Her daughter was diagnosed with Leukemia. Upon learning the dreadful C word had entered her sweet baby's life, I couldn't get them off of my mind. I told Ian how sad and heartbroken I was for that little girl and her family. Learning that she has spent the last week in the hospital receiving chemo through a port in her side, as well as spinal injects made/makes me want to throw up.

These nights when I find myself frustrated that my baby won't easily fall asleep are such a small blip in the world of important things. I sit here now wishing I would have snuggled Malia a little longer and a little harder enjoying the smell of her just out of the bath hair. I sit here now sending my friend Kelly and her baby Ivy so much love and light that they both can persevere through this horrendous time. I sit here now thankful for my healthy child and pray that we have many, many more nights to snuggle and rock. xoH